Charmed and...Angry

[Piper Halliwell]

((OOC: For you benefit I added in a few facts from the last Law what was going on with Paige. You could always PM me about it if you don't like something.))

Piper appeared in shimmering silver orb-like lights. She always had to use a spell to get into Magic School, as she couldn't teleport. She opened the door to Paige's office. She'd had enough of Paige not being home.

The only time Piper ever saw Paige was on Sundays - yet then she was still often at Magic School, and during the week in the Morning before Paige orbed out. Piper got back too late most of the time to see her sister come home. Honestly, she was sick of it.

Phoebe needed them most and Paige was never around! Like Piper, Paige also hated the fact Cole was back but unlike Piper, Paige wasn't trying to like him. When she was around and Cole was there she blew up and started arguing with him...so Piper was guilty with that too but she was going to try!

The fire in Piper's eyes made it clear that she wasn't happy with Paige. "Paige Matthews what the hell is wrong with you!?" she demanded.

[Paige Matthews]

She had been working trying to have as much of a chance as anyone to be able to teach the next generation the same things that she learned from her two older sisters. She knew that she hadn't been home much, but that was because this was her way of dealing with things. She saw Piper and sighed for a moment as she turned her chair to face her completely. "You know Piper, I could've handled that maybe oh I don't know ten years ago, but this...it's becoming a bit more insane at the same time. Look, I am doing the best I can here. I am working and that is what I need to do. I can't just drop things at the moment. Look, family is important to me, Piper, you of all people know that, but I can't just ignore my duties here at the school. People need me here just as much as you or Phoebe, maybe even more so."

She sighed again as she looked at her sister as she made sure the door was closed, because if she was going to argue with her older sister, she didn't want the entire school knowing about it. "I'm not a little kid anymore Piper, I am doing the best that I can, with what I have it is that simple. Besides, you weren't the one who had to deal with the same loss that I did, that Phoebe did as well. I know that Phoebe needs a little more from me then what I have been giving out lately, but you know what, I have other responsibilities too, some are even more pressing by the day. I've been listening to the Elders, giving out their orders, then I come here, and I listen to all the teachers sometimes complaining about eachother or one of the kids, and then I have to hear from the students doing the same thing, last thing I need right now is my own sister fighting against me. I just am sick of it all. Sometimes I wonder whether any of this is worth it." She was serious, she felt like she'd done the best she could yet, nothing was ever good enough for anyone.

"Piper, you can yell at me all you want, but we both know it's not going to change anything. I get that you and Phoebe need more from me, alright, but so does everyone else. I'm not just your sister, or Phoebe's sister, I'm somebody's mother, I'm doing the best I can juggling everything I have to juggle and yet, do I ever complain? No, I don't. Why, well because complaining isn't going to do me any good it's not going to bring Linda back and it sure as hell wouldn't bring Henry back either." She said all this without even getting up from her chair. She knew that Piper was angry, and that was one thing but it was another to storm into her office and start a fight with her.

[Piper Halliwell]

Piper opened her mouth to state what was wrong but Paige already knew. Maybe it was her whitelighter side, or just needing to be her little sister but either way Piper hated when she did that. "Paige, just shut up for a minute okay? Or I swear I'll lose it," she warned her. Paige was talking and talking and Piper was getting angrier with each word. "Stop talking so much and just listen!"

"No, no one needs you more that Phoebe right now- do you even know what she is going through? You're just burying yourself in work to escape things at home, and you know it. Paige we need you- your family needs you. Do you need to lose me or Phoebe too before you realise that?" Piper demanded. "I didn't know you as a little kid, so you can never say I treated you like one," Piper pointed out.

"Paige stop trying to make me feel guilty," she said, in reply to what Paige said about her not suffering the same loses. "It affected you and Phoebe more, but I lived in the same house as them and just as you helped raise my children I did the same with yours, so yours and Phoebe's kids are just as much mines as yours. You want proof of that, ask Melody," she said simply.

"I know you are the headmistress of Magic School, I know you're a mother, I know you're a Charmed one, I know you're a whitelighter and whatever else. But you know what? Phoebe has three children from the future, one that's evil, and you hating Cole, and her being pregnant at the wrong time, she's a mess. You know what Keira told her yesterday? She told Phoebe she hated her. And you didn't know that nor were you there for her," Piper accused.

"I'm a mother too, and a wife, and the owner of a restaurant, and a sister, and a Charmed one, but you know what? I'm the only one who acts like a mother, or a Charmed one these days between the two of us."

[Paige Matthews]

"Oh I swear to God, I am doing the best I can, Piper. I know you're a mother and a wife and all other sorts of things too, and I was not saying that you weren't, or that Phoebe wasn't for that matter either. I know that things lately haven't been that good at home. But I am dealing with it the best way that I can. Do you honestly think this is easy for me? I love my family you know that, but I can't deal with it anymore. I used to pray for death to take me, did you know that? After Linda died, that's all I seemed to want to do." She was really getting herself into trouble, why did Piper have to treat her like she was a kid? Even though they didn't know eachother when they were kids that wasn't the point she was trying to get across. She knew that Piper only wanted the best for her family, and that was something she wanted too, yet, Piper didn't have to deal with the same problems she did.

To be honest, she knew that her family needed her but at the same time, she could barely function at the moment. She was doing what came naturally, helping other people, yet she couldn't even help herself. That was why she was here at Magic School, because it was alot easier helping other people who weren't really related to her, than it was helping her family or herself at the moment, no matter how that may sound.

"I know, that you were there, helping me with the kids and everything and believe me, I really appreciate it, but to tell you the truth, I'm not about to start giving up on things here at Magic School either, but I will try and take more time for the family, but like I said, I have alot of problems myself and it's not just with the fact that one of my daughters is dead, or that my first husband is dead, My father, if you can call him that, I don't even have a relationship with him. Mainly I don't really need to get into this with you. If the kids or someone else has a problem they can come to me. They know that. I spend most of this time, while I'm here in Magic School in this office, alright, and everyone in the family knows where I am, so it's not like I'm off doing something stupid alright, I'm doing what I enjoy doing, because it's one of the few normal things I have left anymore. You know what, Piper, as much as I love you, you are really starting to get on my last nerves. If Phoebe needed me, she could've called and she knows that, but she didn't call and you were with her anyway. We can't always be in the same room every moment of the day, Piper. I can't keep doing this anymore. Fighting with you and Phoebe is not what I need right now, but if I have no other choice...but to fight then that is exactly what I will do. We've been spending countless years fighting off demons and everything and I am doing the best that I bloody well can, and if you don't like it then I don't know what to tell you. If Phoebe needs me she can call for me, and I'll be there. Every day I wake up and the first thing I want to do is grab a darklighter arrow and make it so I'll die."

[Piper Halliwell]

((OOC: Wow Paige is talking a lot.))

"Paige...I'm sorry for everything bad in your life okay? But I'm not sorry for arguing with you," said Piper. Paige may not have realised it, but a lot of people in the family were badly grieved at Linda's death- everyone had been close to her not just her mother. "I don't care if you appreciate me helping you, it was my job and that's not my point," said Piper, cutting across Paige's point.

"Paige stop talking as if you're the only one suffering in this family!" Paige was acting as if Phoebe, and for that matter the entire family didn't have half the burden she did. "Don't talk about Phoebe as if you know what she'd going through Paige because you don't, we both know that. Do you even know how your absence is affecting her? No, you don't do you? Just stop feeling sorry for yourself."

[Paige Matthews]

"You know what Piper, if you are just going to fight with me, I really don't have the time to deal with this right now. I have work to do, and believe me, I know that I wasn't the only one that was upset about Linda's death but...until you go through it yourself, Piper, you'll never know how hard it is. If it had happened to either Wyatt or Chris or any one of your children it'd be alot easier for you to understand what I'm going through. Now you, you were lucky and didn't have to go through the pain that Phoebe and I have had to go through when it came to losing our girls. I don't expect you to understand and I don't expect you to do anything for me right now. I can barely function as it is on my own two feet, but that doesn't mean that I'm just going to complain about anything. I haven't. I've been up here at Magic School, trying to keep this school from being put back in the place it was after the demons took it over, and I'll not let that happen. I know you and Phoebe need me more, that my kids need me more, but...I'm doing the best that I bloody well can."Piper really needed to stop acting the way she was. She loved her big sister and didn't want to argue with her and if that's all that Piper wanted to do, she was in the wrong place to be doing it. She wasn't in the mood to fight with Piper now.

"Do you even understand what I'm dealing with? I lost not only Linda, I've lost other people along the way just like you and Phoebe have. I never said I knew everything about what Phoebe was going through or what you're going through either. I never did, because that isn't my style. But I do know what I am going through right now. Piper, what do you want from me? Honestly, I don't even know what I'm doing anymore because if it hadn't been for my coming here to Magic School after Henry died, and after Linda died, I don't think I would've been able to survive it. You said it yourself that you had a hard time after Prue died. It's the same thing for me, I can't just pretend it never happened and neither can you. You can't expect me to go back to being the person I was because that person is gone, she doesn't exist anymore. It's that simple."

[Piper Halliwell]

"Well guess what, I may not have empathy like Phoebe but I do understand you pain better that you'll ever know Paige? You know why? Because I'm your sister...that's all I need to be to understand," she said firmly. She was tired of Paige using Linda's death against her. "And stop using Linda's death like if it's a weapon," she added. It was harsh, and she shouldn't have said it but she was angry...

"What I want from you?" Now they were getting somewhere. "You complain about being a mother, and a sister as if it's a burden. What I want if for you to be there for us, for everyone and at the moment especially Phoebe." She felt struck when Paige said that the person she was before was gone...Paige might as well have slapped her and attacked her own sister -not being evil- and Piper would have felt the same way she did then. She took a step back. What was she thinking even coming? Trying to make Paige understand? She felt as if she didn't even know her anymore...

[Paige Matthews]

She looked at her sister, she had been feeling a bit guilty about what she had been doing, but she couldn't just disappear. This was her work, this was something she was very passionate about, just like she was very passionate about her family. She was going to say the truth rather simply, after all Piper was the one who was most dismissive of her when she first was introduced to the family and that had changed but lately, it seemed like nothing she did was important. I mean there were the three of them, she wasn't the only one who could get the three of them together, that wasn't her job. She didn't expect Phoebe or Piper to drop everything and go see her and she wasn't saying she would do that either. She loved both of her sisters, and didn't want to hur them but at the same time, they hadn't really gotten along lately, especially after Linda's death. She had just shut herself off from everyone, because it was the only way she could seem to even partially heal herself.

"Listen, I didn't start this. I love you, Piper but let me remind you, I wasn't the one that wanted to fight with you. Linda is by no means a weapon now anymore than she had been when she was alive and that's a bit cruel coming from you. You, Phoebe and the kids are not a burden and I never said that you were. I love you all, but I am trying to cope with everything and staying here in Magic School is the only way I can do that. I did it when Henry was killed and it worked well for me then, it took some time but I finally was able to handle being around other people again, and the same is going to happen this time around as well. Look, I know you and Phoebe need me, but you know what, I'm not the only one who can go to you, you guys know where I am, you could've come to me, and you know I would've left and explained things. I'm not saying that you or Phoebe should drop what you're doing to come to me and I'm not going to do the same thing either...look, I love you and Phoebe but if you're going to use all this against me, about the fact I haven't been around. There's only so much that a girl can take. You and I have always been at odds, ever since I first came to the family, it took you forever to open up to me remember? Like I said, when Prue died you shut yourself off from everyone remember?"

[Piper Halliwell]

"I meant you were using her death as a weapon," Piper corrected Paige. "Paige...five years are gone. If this keeps up by the time you're 'recovered' Phoebe and I will be in out own graves," she pointed out grimly. "Paige we're not using anything against you, it's the other way around," she said smoothly, giving Paige a bitter-sweet smile.

[Paige Matthews]

"What are you talking about, you and Phoebe are both healthy...it's not like you're going to end up dead tomorrow, you two are too strong for that." She said rather simply. She loved both of her sisters, and that wasn't going to change, but she couldn't help feeling like she was dying on the inside. That's what losing what she had, over the years, the whole of it was finally taking it's complete toll on her. "Besides, I know for a fact if Prue were here....she'd tell you the same thing. Look, we're not always going to get along, sisters fight it's what we do. Besides, we both know what it's like losing someone, I mean remember when Leo was taken and you had no idea whether we would be able to get him back...it took both Phoebe and I to accept the fact that we were going to have to fight Billie and Christy in order to get him back, but you seemed to know before anyone that they were the ones we were up against. Phoebe and I just didn't want to believe it then."

[Piper Halliwell]

"Healthy has nothing to do with it...powers do. Look at Prue. Look at Lilly. Look at Linda," Piper pointed out simply. She couldn't believe Paige wasn't taking her words seriously. "Prue wouldn't have told me that Paige," Piper knew what she was going to say next was low, but she couldn't help the truth. "She would've been there for Phoebe no matter what else she had to do."

"Paige I don't get your point...we're not fighting anyone right now."

[Paige Matthews]

"I know we're not fighting anyone right now and I'm glad for it, but that doesn't mean we won't eventually. I know I haven't been there for Phoebe, but how can I be a good sister and help her out when I can barely handle anything right now? I know it's not all about me, Piper, but I'm just...there are some mornings, where all I want to do is just die." She said the truth, she had been feeling really bad lately and that's all that she could think about was how to make her pain go away. "I know that you are angry with me Piper, but making me feel like I've been doing things that I shouldn't be. Change was always hard for me to deal with when I was younger and nothing about that has truly changed. I don't care what happens to me anymore." Dying was the only way to end her pain, at least so she thought. How could she expect to do something that would help her sisters, when she couldn't handle anything right now? It was hard enough for her to even get out of bed in the morning and go to Magic School.

[Piper Halliwell]

Piper felt a mixture of alarm, sorrow and anger inside of her and she knew that she shouldn't linger around her youngest sister any longer or she would probably regret it later. She needed to clear her thoughts. "Paige I just...I need to go," she said, and saying the spell that would get her back to the Manor disappeared in a shimmer of orb-like lights.

[Paige Matthews]

She knew staying in the office wasn't going to be able to help her deal with Piper or Phoebe for that matter so she quickly orbed out to find Piper. Sure she felt bad, but she hadn't intended to make her sisters upset either. They meant the world to her, but still she didn't know what she should do, should she talk to Piper or Phoebe, or just stay away from everyone like she had been doing? She might just have to give up all together, if things didn't improve.

[Selene Arya Strorm]

((You should know theres a thread named distracted, later in the day after this one in Halliwell Restaurant))